Monday, June 1, 2009

A Piece Of My Heart

Okay, I just got the email from my fabulous China Coordinator! Our dates are confirmed! We must be in China June 21st, so she said we need to leave no later than June 19th! Our Consulate Appointment is June 30th and back home on July 2nd.
I just wanted to take a moment and tell you how my heart is overflowing. I am at times unable to wrap my mind around how incredibly blessed I am. Now is one of those times.
There's a guy at church who gives me a new random question each week that I must search out the answer to. I love digging in my bible and learning something new. Well this weeks question was "When Jesus walked on the water and calmed the storm, what happened to the boat"?
I've been reading the account in Matthew where Peter walks out to meet Jesus on the water. What must it be like to take that first step out in faith? What did it take for Peter to be able to do that? Was he courageous? Was his faith that strong? Was he terrified?
Was Jesus interested in whether or not Peter made it to him, or that he stepped out of the boat to begin with? Was Jesus interested in where Peter had been, or where he was going? Was Jesus more interested in how far Peter made it or in the journey that he took?
What did Peter learn from that experience? Did his faith grow? Did he realize he could do anything with the power of Christ? Was he overjoyed at his ability to make the journey?
I ask myself these same question regarding my journey to a daughter that God had planned for me from the foundation of the Earth. Is Jesus pleased with my journey? Did my faith grow? Was I courageous and able to step out in faith? Did I trust His Word? Did I forget His promises? Did I feel at times like He had failed me? Did I realize when great things happened that I can do all things through Him? Did I recognize the mountains He moved on my behalf? What did I learn from the journey?
I look back over 3 years ago at who I was, where I was in my faith, in my marriage, in my friendships.... I can honestly say I am not the same person I was. I look back at all the people, the events, the places, the twists and turns God put in my path guiding me to where I am today. I look back in awe and how I got to where I am today. I can truly tell you that God has led me here. This is not somewhere my little finite brain could take me. My brain 7 years ago was saying "you're turning 30, buy a mustang, get a job that will take you places and make you money, be somebody important..." I am someone important to many people and I am going to be someone important to my daughter. I'm so thankful that God's thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are not my ways. What He had in store for me was so much better than I could have ever planned for myself. I'm forever grateful for this Journey To Jia!
Let me tell you that if you don't know this God, my God... you are missing out. He is a father to the fatherless. It is He that has been loving and caring for my daughter until He's places her in my arms to take care of for Him. It is Him, that I will tell her led me to her, across many miles, waters and borders... He placed her in my heart and soon He will place her in my arms. He is gracious and His mercies are new every morning. His thoughts toward us are so many that if we were to try and count them, we could not. He loved you, and me, so much, that He sent His only Son to die in our place. Have you ever experienced such love from another?

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips!
Psalm 63:3-5
Eternally His and Unconditionally Surrendered... JMS


Anonymous said...

you need to update your stats mother!!!

SamanthaR said...

What a great feeling it is to know when you will be going. Your cousin Kay, is the aunt of my sister in law and told me about your blog. We have two little ones from China, our youngest came home 3 years ago yesterday, and a son who turned 20 today. I know how our wait felt and changed us, I can't imagine the wait you have had. It is wonderful to see that you will be going to get your Jia soon.
Samantha in MN

The Tucker Troops said...

Oh Joy, I am so happy for you!! I've been so busy with our move (we are packed and being loaded on the truch today!) so I have not checked your blog lately....What great news to start my day!!!! Praising the Lord with you!!!!!!